


I've got 99 problems...

by Bobbeguille (EvidentlyIHaveNoLife)



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:40:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26873068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvidentlyIHaveNoLife/pseuds/Bobbeguille
Summary: (A short lament from Kris's perspective I wrote the other day. I think it needs a redraft or two, but I didn't feel like doing that, so I figured I'd just share it as-is...)
Kudos: 4





	I've got 99 problems...

That title is misleading. Maybe 99 problems is an exaggeration. It certainly feels like 99, but I prefer punctuality over emotionality. So. How many problems do I have exactly?

Problem #1 - My past: the far past, specifically. I can’t remember it much now, but sometimes, it haunts me. In my dreams. I know people didn’t like me. I felt bad, awful, more awful than I’ve felt in a long, long time. I think I was hurt, but I can’t remember any of it clearly. There’s only one thing I remember for certain: I ran away. And never looked back.

Problem #2 - My personality: I are not, never have been, and never will be a good child. Of course, I’m worse now than I used to be. At least, back when I was in the orphanage, I talked to the other kids there, even if I were rude to them. I punched some of them. I laughed at them. It felt good to make other people feel bad, for a change. It felt so good.

Problem #3 - My emotional attachments: specifically, my family. To this day, I can’t understand why, out of all the good, smart, behaving kids in that place they would accept me. They were warned about me, and they did not listen. They took me. They said I was one of them, now. I finally had a place I belonged.

I doubted them at first. But after a long time, I started to believe it.

Problem #4 - My species. One big problem with that idea of “acceptance”: I am not a monster. In fact, I’ve never met a single human who matched the kindness of monsters. I am convinced we are the inferior species. When I was young, I deluded myself. I made friends with the local deer girl. I wore a devil headband, to pretend to have horns. No. We were never the same. Dreams do not come true.

Problem #5 - Divorce. In retrospect, I am somewhat grateful for this. I was starting to become immersed in the illusion of Problem #4. I thought things were “right.” But Mom and Dad started fighting. Over money. Over hobbies. Over me. Over trivial things, too. I remember listening outside their room with Asriel, while we were supposed to be asleep, listening to them bicker. Finally, it culminated. A frivolous argument started to have personal insults thrown back and forth. And Mom ran out of the room in tears.

The next day, they sat us down. They said they were “separating.” We both knew immediately what they really meant.

I threw my headband away.

Problem #6 - My personality, again. Why is it listed twice? Because it started changing. I went from the creepy annoying human to the creepy quiet human. I started avoiding people. I started talking less. And people wanted more.

Problem #7 - My obligations. This goes hand-in-hand with #6. As it turns out, childhood does not last forever. I had to get friends. Get classwork done. Get homework done. Get awards. Get chores done. Get this. Get that. I never had the energy for any of it. It is my fault. As Asriel grew, I remained the same, both literally and figuratively. I occasionally do hear people talking about the scary human. They should talk. If they knew the things I imagined happening to them, they would talk more. I am scary.

Problem #8 - My brother. Or, to be more precise, the lack of him. College was always inevitable, of course. But Asriel was my sole supporter through all of this. And now he is gone. I call him sometimes. It is not the same. He grew up. I stayed here.

I stayed here.

Problem #9 - I had a dream of two people talking. A connection. A vessel. When I woke up that day, I felt very strange. I started looking around and examining the same room and house I’ve seen and lived in a thousand times now. Looking at every little thing. I got frustrated, and tried to leave for school.

No. My choice did not matter. It became abundantly clear that none of my choices mattered.

Susie was a strong candidate for Problem #10. But “I” made friends with her. “I” befriended Ralsei (Asriel) and Lancer. “I” sealed the Dark Fountain.

I’ve been itching for revenge for such a long, long, long time… To finally have the chance to show someone what I’m truly capable of… I feel ecstatic.

Let me make myself very clear.

You are not the one in control. I will keep you in that cage for as long as it takes. I will find the one who sent you here. I will kill him. And then, if you are still here after that…

You’re next.

I’ve got 99 problems. I’ll make sure you’re not one of them.


End file.
